i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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