I am puke
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
