i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize