How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
