i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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