Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
