Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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