I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize