I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
