new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
