This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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