yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.