So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
