I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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