This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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