I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
