Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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