We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
