Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
