i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
