Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
