You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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