Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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