Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Houston, we have a blender
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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