Sorry, I don't speak sober.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
