weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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