Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize