Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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