belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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