The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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