He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
