i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize