I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize