He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
