Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
