That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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