I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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