If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
