so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The air was thick with penises
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
