What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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