remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
