Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
