What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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