you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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