Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize