Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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