I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
