I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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