I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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