i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
