I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
