And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
