I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
