Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
