its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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