SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
