Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize