Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
