I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
