That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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