Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
