There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need a beard to bite.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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