U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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