If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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