So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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