what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
