the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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