I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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